Did I?

Did I recall this in a dream

Did I wake you with a scream

Did I make all this come to pass

Did I really show my ass

Did I once believe I belonged

Did I choose to breathe poison for so long

Did I painfully let you down

Did I betray my failure as a clown

Did I get caught in my own devising

Did I decide on public housing

Did I blame you for all my tonal defects

Did I make the cut too deep to forgive or forget

Did I crash the car on our wedding day

Did I kill you then and a ghost decided to stay

Did I understand the sounds I hear

Did I encase your bed with flowers of fear

Did I become your greatest defeat

Did I hold your dreams as only a morsel to eat

Did I become the salt in your childhood wounds

Did I bind you as a captive in my mind's ruins

Did I pluck the shine from your entrancing gaze

Did I make you a sport of my very exclusive maze

Did I explode your hope of happiness

Did I tell you how it turns me on when you undress

Did I explain that all my excuses are useless

Did I convey that in the end I did choose all this

Did I paint a picture with colours that ran with our tears

Did I bring you here to only to declare I never cared

Did I ever show you that you are loved

Did I ever give you a really big hug

Did I ever invite you to walk on the mountain

Did I once love you more than the stars worth counting

Did I ever kiss you in the misty rain

Did I make you understand that I feel your pain

Did I...

September 16, 2012

Running Down

Running down the town in a car with no sound

the beat abounds and bass hits the ground

Blasting off the crust and crud crashing like a satellite in the mud

burning like the sweetest bud

All of our complexities become all our possibilities

there is so much more to see as we simply BE

Voices telling of choices more real than a memory of forces

directing us to various resources

Movement sustains momentum the melody reminds me who sent them

disguised as a friend

Rash attitude based upon false info I go out but in you go

to do your reality show called simply Ego

If you see the trouble why make it double by seeking to burst the bubble

 instead simply be loveable

Painting pictures of perfect sutures wounds healing

Love dealing all my cards winning is never hard

Zooming sonic boom booming while spooning in the warmth of the charm

of this Love that never truly harms

Getting use to the lack of problematic themes

has me jumping for joy out of my jeans ripping the seams

Bulking up hulking up not backing up for I lift this cup

and overjoyed overfilled all my fears are stilled

I float like an empty boat true to the oath that I am a child of the Most

Beautiful Love of which I boast

Not alone for I have known the Light source as home

for many in the eternal zone have sprinkled cones

Lavish the Love streaming within flowing out we are learning to believe our beliefs

and doubt our doubts

With every tick tock of the inner clock our souls wear flip flops

showing how summer never has to stop

Meeting and greeting the shining ones we be seeing in our Being

never fleeing for nothing is threatening

All situations are never limitations they are serving Love's equation

bringing release from perceptual frustration

August 20, 2012

Suffering Addiction

Suffering Addiction

How would you have me characterize

Your downward spiraling trip toward Demise

You say you are suffering from addictions

You are in fact suffering from your fictions

Call it what you will, your cravings are illusive

They shift shape and remain inconclusive

Ever wonder why they always want more

Have you ever asked what your cravings are here for?

All cravings are the expression of excessive cognition

Interpreting the object as desirable and subject to separation

There are no objects that are foreign to you, all is at your grasp

All distance is illusion and Oneness is the only truth that will last

So call it crank, call it sex, call it bulimia, call it depression

It is all the result of a mental construct fixation

You think you need him or her, it or that

When the issue is that you actually think it into a fact

The reality of your slavery is founded in one thing

You have but one addiction and that is to suffering

To be without what you want is the bane of your existence

You will not to transcend your thought pattern with persistence

Persistence better employed toward a more worthy and fruitful goal

That adversarial relationship to what is, never can benefit your soul

I would not have you forget that you are in the position of strength

In your hands you hold nothing and everything, more later in greater length

Duane Raphael Smith, August 10, 2007

Wisdom Of An Eight Year Old Child

On the moment of impact I so needed to be reassured that it was okay to fall and be broken

Thoughts cascading made me feel the whirl of their storm and in the thrall of it all I am choking

Choking back tears of fears I have swallowed for years now to vomit this is how I must share

Forceful projections flow from fingertips my tongue slips thru my lips ask me if I really care...

I got twisted and I may have missed it but did they list it the lesson that I was meant to learn

Over eight summers and falls I tried to recall but I lost it all while I crawled, my time, my turn

I am only a little one, not yet with the shine of the Son which I will become one concept at a time

I am young and untried, I have yet to have died to the dreams I have eyed only in my mind

So I am here unscarred and yet unmarred maybe this is why I fell so hard against your mental fist

Blurred, shaken and stirred and calling on God the 3rd, will I be heard...I wonder about all this...

Thoughts from Jesus’ Course in Miracles

Thoughts from Jesus’ Course in Miracles

Excerpted from Right Teaching and Right Learning

1.                   When I remind you of your true creation, your ego cannot but respond with fear.

2.                  If you are willing to renounce the role of guardian of your thought system and open it up to me, I will correct it very gently and lead you back to God.

3.                  Teaching and learning are your greatest strengths now, because they enable you to change your mind and help others to change theirs.

Every good teacher hopes to give his students so much of his own learning that they will one day no longer need him. This is the one true goal of the teacher. It is impossible to convince the ego of this, because it goes against all of its own laws. But remember that laws are set up to protect the continuity of the system in which the lawmaker believes. It is natural for the ego to try to protect itself once you have made it, but it is not natural for you to want to obey its laws unless you believe them. The ego cannot make this choice because of the nature of its origin. You can, because of the nature of yours.

Egos can clash in any situation, but spirit cannot clash at all. If you perceive a teacher as merely "a larger ego" you will be afraid, because to enlarge an ego would be to increase anxiety about separation. I will teach with you and live with you if you will think with me, but my goal will always be to absolve you finally from the need for a teacher. This is the opposite of the ego-oriented teacher's goal. He is concerned with the effect of his ego on other egos, and therefore interprets their interaction as a means of ego preservation. I would not be able to devote myself to teaching if I believed this, and you will not be a devoted teacher as long as you believe it. I am constantly being perceived as a teacher either to be exalted or rejected, but I do not accept either perception for myself.

The ego tries to exploit all situations into forms of praise for itself in order to overcome its doubts. It will remain doubtful as long as you believe in its existence. You who made it cannot trust it, because in your right mind you realize it is not real. The only sane solution is not to try to change reality, which is indeed a fearful attempt, but to accept it as it is. You are part of reality, which stands unchanged beyond the reach of your ego but within easy reach of spirit. When you are afraid, be still and know that God is real, and you are his beloved son in whom he is well pleased. Do not let your ego dispute this, because the ego cannot know what is as far beyond its reach as you are.

The ego is afraid of the spirit's joy, because once you have experienced it you will withdraw all protection from the ego, and become totally without investment in fear. Your investment is great now because fear is a witness to the separation, and your ego rejoices when you witness to it. Leave it behind! Do not listen to it and do not preserve it. Listen only to God, who is as incapable of deception as is the spirit he created. Release yourself and release others. Do not present a false and unworthy picture of yourself to others, and do not accept such a picture of them yourself.