Without A Canvas

Without a canvas to limit me I come

What am I talking about I run

From some limiting situation calling me to play small

In a simulating frustration appallingly I am left to appall

I joke, I diffuse, I disassemble, I choke on this refuse my preamble.

I want to circle the point like smoke rises circling a spike lee joint

I feel as wasted as that wasted breath the last one given before any death.

Something needs to die, maybe that is why I grieve

Something is about to change, to die is like when they leave.

I tried to imagine how I would pour out my heart before you

But it never comes out like I imagine for my part I am a door and you

The thief who knows how to massage my lock and touch all the right places

It is seductively joyful to be known so well by your knowledge, my limits it erases

You enter because that is what you do, will I always be so easy before you

I have said nothing of my heart only how easily it is to make a start

To expose my nakedness and my shame yet still call lovingly on your name

The pain I feel where does it come from, I feel this sort of dismally calling doom

It is my joy to experience the joy of those around me, but there is more I feel

There is the pain covered by some sort of bright color but it is artificially real

So I would love change my mood and maybe this is why I crave you like a favorite food

I need more than a mood enhancement I need true enlightenment

I need to see that all that I experience is just the contextual truth of a story

There is me, the experiencer, and I am the truth by which the plot has glory

Help me to remember that I am the dreamer of this here dream

For I have gotten lost in the twist of the plot and I lean

As if over the precipice of a precipitous cliff where falling is fun

It is not the falling that I would avoid but when the falling is done

Laying there broken and bleeding out all alone regretting it all

The climb, the looking, the longing, the leaping, the consequential fall.

So alone I come before the all knowingness of silence and solitude

So I may take stock of the lock and your ability to love me when I am rude

My light and my dark, my goldfishness and my shark,

All is accepted by you in some wise way that makes me feel at ease with my dis-ease

Not content to stay here but to know that while I am here you care to be near

What comfort to know that my dirty diaper is not my prison only a temporary condition

So where do I begin to lay the blame at for my exaggerated and despicable mistakes?

Oh the point here is not to label them but to learn from them and the good to take

To a dream that needs to know that it is okay to be, how ever you find yourself to be

Just never forget that whatever and where ever you are that is not your eternal destiny.

There is more to come, yes, this too will pass and the peace that you will exhibit

Will bear witness to the truth that you are a door, but to me you were never a limit

So relax do not do it when you want to come to it only allow me to walk you through it

I will be there with you always guiding you, hiding you in the palm of my hand, so there stand

Know me and know that I am in you, we are One and you are One with all that can never pass away

You are the reason I say these words today, and always,

So you must shine I am the sun you my blaze

The insanity you see for you are no longer lost in its maze

You no longer breath in its purple haze

Now let us show that dream and all the dreamers a power, a strength, a grace that will amaze!

Duane Raphael Smith, January 26^th, 2010